Why can’t I treat it like I can treat coughing
“You have 3 events to go to.”
I am reminded by the Machine.
Same day, same time
Wherever it has always been.
Reminder: “It’s Okay To Speak” starts in an hour.
It tings – over and over again
as they hit going, maybe, maybe, going
while I think about a hot shower
Oh, hot shower sounds okay
I could stand under it for hours,
No one has to know
how I spent my entire day
The water hits my collar bones
and dribbles down to them wrists
Pain screams itself out
as the blood reopens the slits
I forgot.
I forgot again.
Maybe this is why I slept like a baby last night
A baby
newly born or nearly dying?
curled up in its own mess
rarely blabbering and
mostly crying
I run back to my room
as water and blood
make instant flowers on my hands…
instant…
if you could boomerang it
you could get a handful of fans
The glass is shattered and
the clothes are torn
I am not sure how I know what I do
My phone isn’t even on
Is this a dream
or has this happened oh so often
I know what happens
when my mind makes two teams
Shhh, listen.
The blanket is calling you.
Shhh, attention
It says it is warm for two.
Two.
Two of me
Two of my heads
and half a heart
We welcome you
with an extra dose of smart
Don’t worry
I only woke up half an hour ago
This has just begun
and I’ll try to talk slow.
Chorus: Welcome.
